The Five Love Languages

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Point Blank, this is the best marriage book that I have read to date. I would go as far to say that the book in itself is a marriage counselor. Chapman’s simple writing style mixed with his gift for marriage counseling, allowed for a fantastic product. His points of emphasis are on five distinct points that spouses tend to focus on to feel loved. He creatively labels these points “The Five Love Languages.” They are as follows:

Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch

Dr. Chapman explains how these languages compare to your native speaking language, and your comfort in speaking it. For example, one spouse might feel most loved by spending quality time with his mate, while his mate might feel most loved by random acts of service. He explains that the failure to identify the other’s love language can lead to one or possibly both people not feeling loved by the other. Chapman also points out that we must begin to get comfortable learning a secondary love language if we want to effectively communicate love to our spouse due to our differences. He does a great job of using real life scenarios and actual people in his book that he has counseled over the years that have found success with his ideology. For some reason marriages struggle consistently, but the way Dr. Chapman explains his “Love Language” philosophy in his book it is almost like common sense. I mean if my wife feels most loved by my spending quality time with her, but I am focusing on showering her with gifts, although my intentions are good, I am not speaking love to her. Furthermore, her not responding to the gifts that I am giving leaves me feeling unappreciated. Here’s where the secondary love language comes in. I might like to play sports, hang out with my friends, or go fishing, so it will be uncomfortable for me at first to speak that language to her. Just as in our speaking language it is uncomfortable to speak another language apart from our native language. The more I get comfortable speaking her love language, the more she feels loved by me, and vice versa for her. Sounds like 2+2, but we make it 529x50+b-c. I would recommend this book to anyone with a marriage that is struggling or anyone that is trying to grow in their marriage with their spouse. I believe God can use it to glorify himself through our marriages, and maybe resurrect a marriage that sees hopeless. If you would like to contact Dr. Gary Chapman, his contact information is listed below.

http://www.garychapman.org/